Doing It Wrong

Sometimes I think I bungle this whole parenthood thing up. If I only had more patience, if only I relaxed more, if only I could be one of those zen like moms. I love my kiddos with all of my heart but mornings have become challenging. I pack bags and lunches the night before, arrange coats and shoes, everything possible to try and make the day go smoother, but the point remains that we have to be walking out the door a full hour before we did in Houston. And it is rough. It means that everyone is up around the time Hans leaves at 6:00 am, exactly 1 hour before we walk out the door. Sometimes they are happy to be awake, sometimes not. Sometimes breakfast and the walk to the bus is joyous and other times it is closer to stubbing your toe slowly and purposefully.

I wish I had a magic wand to make it all better. I wish I had a deeper feed sack of patience. I wish we had a little longer in the mornings so breakfast was not so rushed, but waking up earlier is not an option. I wish every morning at the table was spent discussing our hopes for the day. I wish there was a little less sass and a little more twinkle from the kiddos in the morning, but at the same time I know I need to do a little less nagging and a little more silliness to solve it. I wonder if other moms feel this way.

I would love to just take them to the zoo and play hooky for a day to break out of this rut but this is not Houston. At this point we cannot even leave the country until the end of this month since we do not have our multi entry/exit visas. So, I am forced to continue to reach further into myself to try to find even more strength and even more patience to turn this cart around. I just pray I can bring more joy to all of us in the morning. It would make a world of difference!

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